In the leadup to my mother’s final decline, 49.8% of American voters chose Donald Trump to be our president in a nominally free and fair election at least in part because they felt he understood their pain. You can read his inauguration speech here, the one in which he pledged to make our country rich again (even though it already is rich), save our auto industry by revoking the electric vehicle “mandate” (despite the fact that the EV industry was at the time a net creator of jobs in the US), and deport “millions and millions of illegal criminals” (despite the fact that, as of this writing, there are under 10,000 undocumented criminals in the US).
The day after my mother died on February 7, 2025, our Trump loving relatives came to give their regards. We got into the kind of shouting match that is part tragic, part comic if only because it is now such a common occurrence in American households.
Words were said, including “A 40% drop in the S&P is already baked in because of f****** Biden!” and “Do you know when you’re being lied to?!” The question recalls political philosopher Hannah Arendt’s comment regarding totalitarianism that “…constant lying is not aimed at making the people believe a lie, but at ensuring that no one believes anything anymore. A people that can no longer distinguish between truth and lies cannot distinguish between right and wrong.” Perhaps it’s this inability to distinguish between right and wrong that explains another element of Donald Trump’s success.
Before the visit was over, conversation (naturally?) turned to the promise and peril of DOGE, whether George Soros, as a child in World War II, purposely sold out other Jews to be murdered in concentration camps, and the Chinese threat to American democracy. We eventually said our “I love you’s,” promised to see each other more often, and parted ways. I can only imagine what my mother would have said had she been there in body and not just spirit.
During the time from when the new president was inaugurated to when my mother exhaled for the final time, while I was (among other supportive activities) bathing her dying body, the elected president of the United States signed 89 executive orders on topics including “Granting Pardons And Commutation Of Sentences For Certain Offenses Relating To The Events At Or Near The United States Capitol On January 6, 2021,” “Withdrawing The United States From The World Health Organization,” “Unleashing American Energy,” “Putting People Over Fish: Stopping Radical Environmentalism to Provide Water to Southern California,” and “Limiting Lame-Duck Collective Bargaining Agreements That Improperly Attempt to Constrain the New President.”
Since my mother died and as the year has unfolded I have come to face, in addition to cruel and often nonsensical executive orders and behavior, other variations of sickness, decline, and death. My stepmother received a terminal diagnosis, my elderly aunt first became a full time caregiver to my wheelchair bound uncle and subsequently broke her hip, my mother in law and her partner elected hospice following his traumatic brain injury; she has since died. One neighbor was treated for cancer and his wife’s father died. A dear friend’s beloved aunt died, and so did a neighbor. I learned more recently of a friend, now in a coma, who got drunk and crashed his motorcycle. My partner’s cousin died by suicide.
During this same time, the number of executive orders aiming to disable everything from libraries to federal service positions has more than doubled, court orders have been ignored, individuals, including US citizens, have been plucked off the street and, yes, murdered by masked ICE officials (who are now on track to be the largest police force the United States has ever seen), and white South Africans have been brought to the United States as political refugees. He has by now far out-executive ordered any other US president; an effective and impactful way to circumvent democracy.
A sizable minority of our US citizenry still find meaning, comfort, and hope for the future in this president and his colleagues. People like Russell Vought, Stephen Miller, and Charles Koch actively build and fund Project 2025’s deregulation, no tax on the rich, and regressive white supremacist agenda. They are succeeding mightily.
2025 was a sad, strange, and confusing year and, alarmingly, 2026 is so far serving more of the same. Each day we learned of some new assault on the rule of law or past moral transgression such as the (ambiguous?) role Jeffrey Epstein played in Donald Trump’s life. We’re being told Tylenol causes autism, that residents of Springfield, OH eat their neighbors’ cats, and that we should – contrary to trusted research and environmental impacts – emphasize protein at every meal. Hannah Arendt’s comment that “A people that can no longer distinguish between truth and lies cannot distinguish between right and wrong” was never far from my mind.
I am experiencing what’s happening in our country now as death: the death of ideals and hopes and a sense of security and pride I didn’t know I had. Secondary losses include a cohesive sense of reality and fear for my children’s future. It’s not an exaggeration to say that Trump policies directly and indirectly cause death in the United States and abroad.
The death toll began even before his pandemic policies, with environmental deregulation, and efforts to alter or repeal the Affordable Care Act, continue with foreign aid cuts (research shows that we are on track to lose 14 million people, including four million children under five, if the defunding continues), immigration detention, and worker safety deregulation and culminate in resumption of federal executions after a 17 year hiatus – literally a killing spree. In contrast, my childhood included, almost before I knew what death was, televised anti-death penalty vigils.
To further illustrate the contrast, I was born during the beginning of the end of the peak of American political generosity, wealth equality, and laws to protect the earth and our human rights. My mother gave birth to me in coastal California in May of 1969. While I was being readied for this world, a rocket was flying to the moon, abortion had been legal in California for two years, and in that year the internet was born. Now Donald Trump is defunding and attempting to destroy important US research centers including the National Center for Atmospheric Research, Land Conservation Cooperatives, the National Institute of Health, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the National Science Foundation.
My earliest political memory is an image of Nixon’s face on the inside of a toilet seat. I didn’t understand it at the time but it left an impression on me. My mother organized the first organic food cooperative in our town. My stepfather, bless his soul, repeatedly shared this opinion: Never trust the government. I was too young to know, and the adults around me did not understand that they were standing at the apex of an important cycle in American history.
The period between the 1940s and the early 1970s, called The Great Compression, was a time of a rise in economic equality and an increase in protections for nature in many parts of the world. Globally and as a nation, we experienced expansion of civil rights, decolonization, progressive taxation, strong unions, living wages, the first-ever environmental regulations, and expanded access to education for women and minorities along with better health care. Sadly, progress resulting from a nation willing to work together and compromise, has devolved from “we” to “I” thinking where too many people concern themselves more with personal gain than community well-being (I direct you to The Upswing for more information).
As a child, I did not know that The Great Compression, especially regulations that included environmental protections and occupational safety standards along with greater taxation of the rich, sounded alarm bells for the very wealthy. I did not understand that the late 60s and early 70s were a time of intense transition in our country and the beginning of challenging authority, identity politics, and political polarization. I did not of course have any perspective at all that things take time to come to fruition. We are of course experiencing much strange fruit these days.
The countercultural movement and fight for economic rights and occupational safety sparked a period of political meddling and financial investment that has escalated as it continues in the present and has culminated in an American flavor of good, old-fashioned authoritarianism. For those who are not aware of how much money has influenced American politics, I direct you to the Open Secrets website.
The alliance among the so-called billionaire class, which makes up just 3,200 or so individuals, the so-called Christian far right, and the manipulated poor is a reaction against and stands in contrast to social and technological changes that include access to birth control, increased access to education and employment for people of color and women, overall increasingly humane treatment of society’s vulnerable and, yes, decreased crime.
The truth, like death itself, hides in plain sight: Unchecked capitalism, along with the billionaire class, have contributed to or caused most of the problems we face today. Some billionaires are aware of it. According to Farah Nayeri:
“[…] in the decade and a half since the 2008 global financial crisis, capitalism has started to be called into question, even by those who profit from it the most. The billionaire Warren Buffett has repeatedly asked that he and other very high net worth individuals be taxed more, noting that his secretary is taxed at a higher rate than he is. Fellow billionaire Bill Gates has acknowledged that companies “need to take a long-run view of their interests and not just focus on short-term profits,” and that when it comes to capitalism,’ we should do more to curb its excesses and minimize its negative aspects.’”
Throughout the world people have been sold the notion that capitalism has benefited civilization as a whole. Certainly, capitalism can be credited with many short term material gains, including wealth (albeit unevenly distributed), consumer access (even poor people can have a TV in every room), innovation, and investor returns and business-friendly climate.
What have been the costs? What do we believe about how we should live that makes the tradeoffs worth it? Do you enjoy working for others and seeing only a small fraction of the benefits? Do you like living by the clock? Do you enjoy endless competition? What have the impacts of the climate crisis been on you? Is the US investing in long-term stability or are the pockets of the very few bulging evermore greatly?
A global analysis of height, wages, and mortality since the 16th Century show that not only was extreme poverty rare before the rise of capitalism, but that in fact where progress has occurred it occurred with the rise of anticolonial and union movements that coincided with the Great Compression. In fact capitalism offers a false promise that at this time most benefits a tiny minority and harms the earth.
Capitalism, of course, is not the only cause of the troubles facing us today. There is another, yet more insidious problem: Complicity. We eat capitalism’s table scraps: endless AI-fueled entertainment and easy answers, packages delivered in less than a day, and big chunks of plastic wrapped red meat. These are the promises capitalism fulfills, but to what end? Capitalism’s promises fulfilled deplete the earth and our own bodies.
Following a heated discussion about the history of racist zoning laws in Berkeley, CA, my partner once conceded, “There’s gross injustice, we benefit from it, and we enjoy benefiting from it.” The “we” here are affluent, often white people – and the more affluent the greater the benefit, at least materially. The cost to a soul of taking more than its share has yet to be calculated.
What does gross injustice mean? It means that as a country, a world, and as a global community of human beings, we have always lived with slavery, genocide, wealth inequality, and betrayals and abuses that include inequitable application of laws, violence, and neglect.
Benefitting from gross injustice is what we do when we eat foods produced on industrial farms with fossil fuel fertilizers, hire most prostitutes, buy fast fashion, live in formerly redlined neighborhoods, purchase the homes at a cut rate of those Japanese who were interned during World War II, or use cellphones made possible by child slaves in the Congo. Gross injustice is funding a genocide in Gaza or turning away from even more loss of life in Sudan. The biggest news of 2026 thus far has been the illegal attack on Venezuela, killing 80 people in the process. While Maduro was an evil man responsible for much misery and destruction, Trump seems to be on a violent spree that now includes Iran, Nigeria, and Venezuela with threats against Canada and Greenland. The examples are literally endless and the injustice is often invisible, hidden in the past, or deliberately obfuscated. Where will it end and how many will suffer?
Abraham Joshua Heschel put it well when he said “In a free society, some are guilty, but all are responsible.” What are we to do in the face of injustice? How can we evolve beyond capitalism and into something far more sustainable and life-affirming? How can we regain a “we” mindset that transcends differences and tirelessly seeks areas of agreement and mutual benefit?
A friend once shared the following story, as told by French activist and philosopher Pierre Rabhi and adapted from his work La part du colibri:
The forest was shining and green, dense with trees, flowers, and food. The animals played and worked together by the river, tending their homes and sharing their lives. Out of nowhere, a storm erupted and bolts of lightning shattered the peace. One bolt of lightning struck an old tree and suddenly, fire was everywhere.
The animals did not know what to do. They were filled with fear and ran this way and that, trying to save themselves, their possessions, and their families. While the forest burned, Monkey saw Hummingbird doing something different from the rest.
She was going back and forth from river to fire, carrying droplets of water in her tiny beak and tossing them on the flames. Monkey screamed and pointed at her, stopping the animals around them in their tracks. He said to Hummingbird, “What are you doing there, Hummingbird? Everyone knows you can’t save this forest with your tiny drops of water!”
As Hummingbird kept working, she replied to Monkey, “I am doing my part.”
I was charmed by the story and still try to live by it. As a younger woman, I naively thought that just by each of us doing our part in a flawed world we would eventually reach a finish line with justice for all and no suffering. Sweet thoughts for a young woman! What I now know is that there is no finish line and that we as individuals must each do our part together.
Despite having been taught that I should never trust the government, I did not understand the reality of our government working hand in hand with the rich. I did not see the flow of history and how and why some people suffer and others prosper. Safeguarding human rights and stewarding our environment is a project without end.
Where within the flow of history did the story of our current authoritarian leadership start? It’s no use to blame one man. We have to understand how nature and humanity – life itself – works. The existence of everything including rocks, people, and seasons is a flow – continuous expansion and contraction, birth, and death.
For our purposes, shall we start the story of our current destruction with the pandemic, which seems like a distant dream but served to further destabilize an already fragile world order? Would it make more sense to start with the 2016 election? Should we go back to the Civil Rights movement, which scared the haves so much they organized amongst themselves to the great effect we are seeing now? Or do we start further back in our evolution as animals with instincts to protect territory and kill for survival?
Because it coincided with my mother’s decision to go on hospice, I chose to start this story with Donald Trump’s second inauguration. Now we live through his second term and his entourage of a mixed bag of greedy and evil people, many of whom have faces stuffed with collagen and frozen with botox (both substances made more accessible by the wonders of capitalism). It’s getting harder and harder to believe that some of Donald Trump’s closest “friends” are merely misguided, caught in the headlights of the cult of personality.
As California Congressperson Lateefah Simon has said, “We are in the midnight hour of our democracy.” While I could quibble about how democratic our nation has ever been, even at the peak of its vitality, her next words are equally important. She said, “And do you know what comes next? A new dawn.”
And so it is when we write our histories, both personal and political, that what we call the beginning, and likewise what we call the end, are in fact placeholders – pins we use to mark a point on a continuously unfurling ribbon of forward motion. This moment in history is dark. I am actively grieving. Many of us fear for our futures and those of our children. To comfort myself, I remember that what we’re going through is just one part of an ongoing cycle. It’s not that we, or these times, don’t matter; we are each a precious part of what makes now what it is.
My mother and I struggled with a difficult relationship made more challenging by the pandemic and declines in her mental and physical health. There was a period during which we did not speak. I am grateful that in the months leading to her death, we reconciled. That I could care for my mother so intimately in the final weeks of her life was a gift to me. I was her daughter and performed a daughter’s duty – with the beautiful teamwork of my partner and stepfather – as she left this world. We expressed love, gratitude, and forgiveness. She died a peaceful and dignified death. Embedded in her death was healing.
Likewise, embedded within the current darkness of corruption, complicity, and power grabs, there is much truth, beauty, and light. Just as my mother’s death was a sacred and healing experience in which I was honored to participate, so too is this moment of upheaval throughout our country and our world.
While our Covid pandemic did not unite us, it demonstrated most surely that we are all vulnerable and interconnected as inhabitants of this planet. Our way of life up until this point is dying if not dead. Our world order has shifted just as implacably as Covid made its way round our world. There will be more suffering and more death through this transition. What the results will be no one at this time can say.
The diseases of unchecked capitalism, corruption, and thirst for power and money have spread and festered; we can choose hospice. We can let systems of oppression, greed, and corruption die peacefully as we transition to a new way characterized by peace, prosperity, and dignity infused with love.
These are the truths of the human condition: the inevitability of loss, change, and rebirth and renewal. The importance of how each of us lives our lives has been made more apparent to me as I age, as I watch my parents age and die, and as I see decisions to be made internationally that poison the earth, impoverish citizens, and encourage violence and despair. Colibri’s story shows one way to act when the forces of political life and changes in world order are larger than any of us as individuals. My mother’s death showed me that healing can take place at any time. We each have a choice to cultivate a living into death that reflects our values and our humanity.
Not at all immune to the fear, despair, and violence around us, I wrote this essay both to let the record show I said “NO!” to much of what I see around me and as an invitation to you and all the people we love to join me in that “NO!” and amplify it.
Let’s consciously choose life and all the joy, magic, and unstoppable abundance life offers. You may be grappling with certain questions, including: What should I do now? How can I make a difference during authoritarian times and times of great change? Can I live luminously in dark times – even when I feel weak, vulnerable, or sad?
My offering to you are a few guideposts and reflections that may shed light as you journey through this midnight hour:
Accept that change and death are inevitable. We can’t go back. Life moves forward. It is our choice to direct the flow as best we can within our means and abilities.
Live by your most deeply held values. Most of us value safety, health, connection, generativity, and having agency to direct our lives. Our differences are generally surface. So go deep and discover what connects you to those you love and the world around you.
Courageously live the truth of how you want the world to be. Your values can inform a vision of how you want the world to be. Have faith that your vision can come true, though perhaps not ask quickly as you would like.
Acknowledge yourself as part of the whole. You are part of what makes our world and our communities what they are. While living your values, acknowledge that diversity is what makes nature work, and you are part of nature. Everything you do alters the whole. You matter.
Decide what your part is. During dark times and light, there are so many choices! It is often challenging to know what your part is. Reflect on your skills and capacities, considering what your unique offering will be.
Take action. Take to the streets. Write the letters. Plant the trees. Pick up the garbage. Offer your personal NO! to greed, corruption, violence, hatred, and senseless destruction. Embody your truth with your actions.
Grieve, rest, and celebrate accordingly. In fact even in the best of times, there is grief. There are moments to pull back and rest and there are moments to throw up your hands and dance. Since you’re precious, take time for yourself whatever that means for you. And never forget that joy is part of your birthright, no matter how cruel your circumstances.
You will find resources, below, to help you get started on your unique and creative contribution to resistance, rebirth and renewal. If you would like to discuss these important matters, please reach out. I want to know more about you and what you want to share, do, and be. Until that time, may you live surrounded by love and light.
RESOURCES
Political education
Self-Liberation by Gene Sharp with the assistance of Jamila Raqib
https://race-class-academy.com
Organizations
https://www.nonviolent-conflict.org/ (also has courses on nonviolent action)
https://www.globalcitizen.org/en
https://actionforhappiness.org/volunteer
Organizations against misinformation
Society of Professional Journalists
Berkman Klein Center for Internet and Society
Center for Information, Technology, and Public Life
Data and Society: Disinformation Action Lab
European Digital Media Observatory
Network Contagion Research Network
Nieman Foundation for Journalism at Harvard
Open Technology Institute, New America
Oxford University Programme on Democracy and Technology
Shorenstein Center on Media, Politics and Public Policy, Harvard Kennedy School
Podcasts and YouTube Channels
https://www.youtube.com/@heathercoxrichardson
https://www.youtube.com/@ivehaditpodcast
Apps
https://www.allsides.com/content/normal/download-allsides-mobile-app
Good news
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/
https://www.optimistdaily.com/
https://reasonstobecheerful.world
